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This or Something Better
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In a recent coaching session a client was blessing their ambitious goals with ‘inshallah’ (if Allah wills it). And ‘Deo volente’ (God willing) has been woven into my thinking through Stoicism. I love the power of being all in and going for something amazing, while simultaneously embracing whatever happens. A doubtless and powerful focus, coupled with humility and engagement. Running to the edge of the cliff, knowing you can stop on a dime. Loosing the arrow and allowing where it lands. And, why only embrace the downside? What about embracing that something even greater might be possible, might be trying to happen? What if it’s not that you’re aiming too high but that you’re aiming too low? I don’t know the Latin equivalent, but the mantra I’ve instilled into many of my clients is “this or something better.” Whether it’s a simple desire or goal or prayer or commitment. This or something better. Don’t limit your future self to conditioning of your present self. The unknown holds infinite possibility in it, and can handle the paradox (co-existence, not conflict) of deeply wanting and pursuing something while remaining open to what the universe wants for you. I led an Insight Salon on “This or Something Better” years ago, in 2021, as a way to help people break out of the achievement mindset — outsourcing happiness to future goals — and how you can still set direction and create amazing futures coming from being innately fulfilled right now. If you’d like access to the recording simply reply to this email with the word "better". Michael McDonald :: Transformational Coach :: authenticintegrity.com P.S. Subscribe to my new Substack for more of my daily quotes, articles, and other musings |
Michael McDonald, Transformational Coach
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How do we create our lives, in a way that feels authentic, powerful, and in harmony with the world? I have many answers to that question, none of them true, but all of them potential useful so here’s a brief exploration: In the paradigm of Personal Empowerment we discover that we are creators, that we are responsible for our own fate and that instead of bemoaning what has been we can step forward and create what we want to be. “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable...
When a client is struggling with something and they have no idea why, one way I like to play is to zoom out and approach it from two divergent perspectives: One perspective is Action:Are they actually doing the thing ?Are they putting in the necessary time and attention?Do they know what system they currently have in place, which is creating the results they’re getting?Are they getting into the medium and experimenting, to learn from experience not concept?Are they focusing on taking action,...
I was working with a client recently on creating time blocks for creating more focus in his work. It’s not exactly a groundbreaking idea, and we had talked Cal Newport’s Deep Work before, but he admitted that he hadn’t actually tried it yet. He was worried about being too rigid – i.e. too consistent, too structured — the scary story of self-discipline becoming a prison. Here’s the metaphor that I gave him: when you consciously create your routines (vs trying to mimic what someone else does or...